Welcome to Holy City Review
IHOP Summerville
Date of Visit 10/7/2025
🚽 The Tale of the Toilet – A Review in Chapters
🌸 Odor: 3/5
A gentle whiff of “fresh-ish” greets the weary traveler. It’s clean enough to reassure, but not so clean that you’d believe it was just scrubbed by elves moments ago.
🧼 Sparkle and Shine: 3/5
Two thrones await! The mighty handicap stall, with only a lone piece of toilet paper resting rebelliously on the floor — a small casualty in the battle for tidiness. The standard stall, however, harbored a mysterious black mark in the bowl. Was it a curse? A blemish? We shall never know. One point was docked in honor of these dark secrets.
🚰 The Waters of Life: 5/5
A round of applause for the basics! Water flowed like a gentle stream — as it should in any establishment where syrupy fingers abound.
🫧 Washy Washy: 3/5
Soap aplenty! A humble push-button dispenser stood proudly by, ready for action. The suds flowed freely, though the experience lacked a bit of flair.
🧻 Paper Chase: 4/5
Quantity? Excellent. Quality? Questionable. The fabled one-ply makes another appearance — scratchy but dependable. One can’t expect silk sheets in the land of affordable pancakes.
💨 Drying Chronicles: 2/5
Ah, tragedy strikes! Two dispensers — one built into the wall, sitting empty and sad, and the other, a desperate last-minute addition hanging on for dear life. Its paper towels were few, its spirit weary. A makeshift fix, but a valiant effort nonetheless.
🪞 Floor Adventures: 3/5
A sea of brown stretches underfoot — not quite charming, but acceptably clean. The lone piece of toilet paper in the handicap stall added a touch of “lived-in” realism.
💡 Ambience and Atmosphere 2/5
Dim lighting and dated décor gave the room a mysterious, dungeon-esque vibe — less “enchanted breakfast nook,” more “forgotten castle corridor.” A little love and a lightbulb or two could work wonders here.
✨ Final Thoughts:
The IHOP bathroom — much like the pancakes — gets the job done with a side of character. It’s a little tired, a little quirky, but overall, a respectable pit stop on our breakfast adventure.
